Coming Out As A Sadomasochist

Admitting to yourself that you are somehow deviating from the norm can be a lengthy selfrealisation process. Admitting it to family or friends can be an overwhelming challenge full of fear and doubt. If the deviation is related to sexuality the task of coming out may seem no less than impossible to the individual. This is why many people hide their sexual masochism or sadism. The simple fear of being regarded as perverted or strange, being the odd one out that people talk about, is such an integral thing for most human beings, that risking the exposure that might cause it simply isnt a viable option.

Several studies have shown that repression of sexual emotions lead to a variety of social and mental problems, which can manifest themselves in a variety of ways in the individual. Thus, it is pertinent that proper advice is given to people having such sexualities to help enable and empower them to overcome the barriers they are facing in the attempt to maintain a healthy relation to their sexuality. Luckily, in recent years sadomasochism has become a more accepted part of mainstream media, which has most certainly paved the way for sadists and masochists alike to be open about their sexuality. BDSM societies and clubs that used to function secretly as underground secterian and invite only establishments can now be found openly in largely every bigger city in the western world. Similarly the internet has opened alot of doors with the widespread availability of dating sites targeting alternative sexualities such as Collarme and Alt, as well as communities such as Fetlife giving a social network type of slant to the connection of kinky people worldwide.

In this sense the availability of options for bdsm lifestylers wishing to connect and come out has increased rapidly in recent years. However availability alone isnt necessarily enough for the individual fearing what world they are entering and the reactions from the old world to this exposure. Further its all very well with internet options that creature a feeling of belonging to a larger group, however the real release emotionally comes mainly from actually making these experiences happen in the real world. Getting out there to fetish partners, bdsm munches or actual events can still be scary, confusing or even seemingly dangerous. The best advice to give is to attend fetish fairs, fetish fashion shows and bdsm munches first, as these are all casual public events with no particular expectations of a certain behaviour, involvement or actual sadomasochistic play. This way it is possible to make real connections with fellow sadomasochists in a perfectly safe and chilled atmosphere before venturing onwards to more daring experiences such as fetish play parties or actual dates.

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